Stop Trying to Control Everything: Discover the “Let Them” Secret
Do you find yourself focusing on your teenager, partner or housemate’s level of clutter, disorganization, or accumulation of stuff. Try the “Let Them Theory” to help you focus on what you can control, and in turn lower your stress, and possibly improve your relationships.
The “Let Them Theory” is a concept popularized by Mel Robbins, and it’s all about taking back control of your life by focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can’t.
The Basic idea:
The world is full of things we can’t change: other people’s opinions, their actions, their moods, and even traffic jams. We often waste a lot of energy trying to control these things, leading to stress, frustration, and unhappiness. The “Let Them Theory” suggests a different approach.
“Let Them”: This is the first part of the theory. It’s about recognizing that you cannot control what other people think, say, or do. When you find yourself getting worked up about something someone else is doing, you simply tell yourself “let them.” It’s a simple way of releasing yourself from the need to control the situation.
“Let Me”: The second part is equally important. After you “let them,” you shift your focus to what you cancontrol: your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Ask yourself, “What can I do in this situation?” This will empower you to take charge of your response and make choices that are best for you.
Why it Works:
Reduces stress: By letting go of the need to control everything, you free yourself from a lot of unnecessary stress and worry.
Increases self-awareness: The “let Me” part of the theory encourages you to become more aware and in control of your own reactions and motivations.
Improves relationships: When you stop trying to control others, your relationships become healthier and more authentic.
Empowers you: The “Let Them Theory” puts you back in the driver’s seat of your own life. You are no longer a victim of other people’s actions or opinions.
How to do it:
Start small: Begin by practicing the “Let Them Theory” in everyday situations, like when your teenager leaves their room in disarray, or your partner leaves the cabinet doors open.
Be patient: It takes time to change your mindset and break old habits. Don’t get discouraged if you find yourself slipping back into old patterns.
Focus on the positive: The “Let Them Theory” is not about being passive or apathetic. It’s about picking your battles and taking control of your own life.
The “Let Them Theory” is a simple but powerful tool for focusing on what you need to do, reducing stress, and improving relationships.
